


Midnight Rider

by KebsSecretAccount



Series: Tyler needs to stop writing his AU out of order [1]
Category: Undisclosed Fandom
Genre: Character Study, Gen, This is a, actually i’m sorta lying by marking this as original, also if tbom stans do find this, and also thanks for the title inspo lol, anyway sorry these tags are probably too long, anyway uhhhhhh, btw hi courtney thanks for beta-ing this and convincing me to post it lol, but i dont like the book of mormon fandom, date: sometime in 1967, if you dont like whizzer and kevin being twins you can go away because, if you have questions you can ask? i guess?, of my main boy kevin, people like you are the reason we cant have my au public, so they cant read it unless they deliberately search for it, sucks for you mormon fans! LMAO, this is actually a book of mormon fic thats part of my au, this probably cant go as a standalone fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:01:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23472907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KebsSecretAccount/pseuds/KebsSecretAccount
Summary: Kevin has a breakdown in the middle of the night.Or, a character study on my favourite boy, Kevin
Series: Tyler needs to stop writing his AU out of order [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1732393
Kudos: 6





	Midnight Rider

**Author's Note:**

> UHHH so before you read, heres the situation  
> this is actually a book of mormon (musical) fic. but i hate the fandom. i hate the fandom with a PASSION and they dont deserve any of my fics after they literally bullied me out of the fandom. which sucks for them, because it died with me.  
> BUT thats not important. whats important is, im actually posting for once  
> this is part of my au?? its a very. VERY complicated au and i cant believe im finally posting a part of it somewhere yet HERE WE ARE  
> im going to write the whole thing for nanowrimo this year (probably), because ive been developing it for about two years now and i just need to write it before i leave and forget everything ive worked so hard on  
> and yes, im aware the entire. price family is just Crossover Crossover Crossover. but let me enjoy things, okay???  
> ALSO this part in particular alludes some. very sad parts of the au, such as. uHhhHhH a thing. happening to connor that i do not like talking about but its in there anyway. whizzer(aka jack hahahahah) basically abandoning kevin (in kevins eyes at least). uhhh whizzer literally trying to do the die. and a bunch of other traumatic stuff so like????? yeahhhh  
> anyway this is long, im sorry, please enjoy the fic lol it took a lot of confidence to do this

“Con,” Kevin whispered, lightly shaking Connor awake. “Hm?” Connor hummed, his eyes still closed. “I gotta go to the bathroom, d’ you mind?”

“‘Course not,” Connor muttered, rolling off of Kevin and landing next to him on his back. “Thanks.” Kevin climbed over the smaller boy, his feet making a light thud noise when they hit the ground. He placed a small kiss on Connor’s cheek, Connor smiling as he felt it.

And with that, Kevin left the bedroom, turning the light on when he entered the hallway. He sighed when he made it to the bathroom door, standing in front of it and staring.

Whenever he went to the bathroom, be it in public or in the privacy of his home, Kevin’s mind always had flashes of the day Whizzer tried to kill himself. He remembered the panic he felt, causing his heart to beat at an ungodly pace. He remembered the sight of Whizzer just  _ laying _ there, motionless, seeming as if death had claimed him by the time Kevin managed to get inside. He remembered himself choking on his tears as his body wracked with sobs. He remembered everything.

Kevin didn’t like remembering anything from that day. In fact, he wished he couldn’t remember anything from it at all.

He sucked in his breath and stepped inside, the tile floor bringing back even more cruel memories.

The inside, although not even  _close_ to being identical, reminded Kevin of the bathrooms of Provo Charter. Of course, he hadn’t been inside of there for a few years, but the memories still haunted him. Not only had Kevin’s mind deemed himself a murderer, the vile acts committed against Connor constantly gave him nightmares.

He didn’t understand why any of what happened had happened. Connor didn’t do anything wrong, why did Steve and his friends take it upon themselves to... Kevin shook his head, running a hand through his hair and sitting on the toilet seat. He didn’t really have to do any business, he just needed to vent out his frustrations in private.

His mind liked to torture him often with his trauma. He’d endured so much in his twenty two years of living on earth that it honestly surprised him that he’d managed to make it that long. He put his head in his hands, feeling the tears well up in his eyes.

“C’mon, Kev,” he mumbled to himself, the aforementioned tears now clouding his vision. “You have to stay strong. Stay strong for them.”

Kevin always kept a fake smile plastered on his face when he was with others. He didn’t want anyone to feel sad, and showing his true feelings would do just that. Nobody knew of his inner turmoil. Not Whizzer, not Connor, not anybody. Though he longed for someone to comfort him and tell him everything would be alright, he wouldn’t risk driving them away just by being the way he is.

Oh, great. Now his mind’s wandered to when his father left. Of course, he didn’t blame himself for that particular incident. That was his choice to abandon his family, not Kevin’s. Yet still, it added onto his list of traumatic experiences that followed him wherever he went.

Kevin missed his father greatly, even if the man wasn’t around often to begin with. When he was, however, he was a wonderful father. At least, he was until he hit Whizzer with the back of his hand and demanded he leave the family. 

That wasn’t Kevin’s fault. That wasn’t Whizzer’s fault either. It was nobody’s fault except their father’s. The man’s reputation in Kevin’s mind had been tarnished, and even though Kevin had initially been the oneexcited to carry on the Price legacy back in England, he wasn’t so sure he wanted to anymore.

That role was meant for Whizzer. Whizzer was the firstborn son, not Kevin. Yes, Kevin loved making shoes almost as much as his father did, but was that really what he wanted to do when his father went into retirement?

At this point, he probably couldn’t care less. He had enough wealth right  _ now _ from the company that could last two men their lifetimes. Well, that’s what it was being used for, anyway, at least on Kevin’s end. He and Connor wouldn’t be where they were at in the present moment if it weren’t for Kevin’s money.

Kevin blinked, and a couple tears finally made their ways down his cheeks. His hands moved from his hair to his eyes. “No,” he muttered, gritting his teeth. “Not again.”

Kevin hated crying. Even if he was alone, he felt like doing such a thing would make him unlikeable. Maybe even unloveable. Of course, he knows Connor would never even  _think_ to leave him, but the thought always creeped up on him.

Well, actually, Kevin didn’t think he truly knew anything anymore. Life had thrown at him so much to deal with in so little time that he wasn’t even sure he would ever process it all. Just thinking about the various incidents he’d witnessed made him want to break down into sobs and never stop. But of course, he’d never let himself do that. His job is to make everyone happy, not sad.

In recent years, Kevin had felt much more like a burden than a true person. Everything he did weighed others down, and it showed. The most prominent example was when Whizzer decided to move to New York City  _without_ him . ‘I can’t be alone, Whizzer, I need you. Let me come with you.’ That didn’t work. ‘Connor wants to be on Broadway, Whizzer. He wants to be an actor. Bring us with you.’ That didn’t work either. ‘Why can’t you take me with you, Whizzer? Am I doing something wrong?’

No matter how much he begged, pleaded, or otherwise, Whizzer didn’t budge. ‘You have a home here,’ he said. ‘You belong here,’ he said. It just made Kevin feel like he wasn’t good enough. Surely Whizzer hated him. That had to be the reason why Whizzer convinced him to stay in Provo.

Kevin hiccuped, making small noises as he cried. Whizzer hated him, Connor was probably sick of him, Mom probably wanted nothing to do with him, everyone hated him. He didn’t understand what he did wrong. He’s a good boy, isn’t he? He’s done everything right, why do they all hate him?

Maybe it’s not his actions. Maybe it’s his personality. He’s too clingy. He’s too overbearing. Too affectionate...? He’s too everything. That’s why nobody likes him.

Kevin quietly rubbed his eyes to make the tears go away. Once he felt like nothing else would come out, he stood up and sighed. He walked out of the bathroom, turned the lights off both in there and in the hallway, and went back into the bedroom. “Hey,” he whispered, approaching the bed and laying a hand on Connor’s cheek.

“What took you so long?” Connor muttered, rolling over to make room for Kevin. Kevin shrugged, even though Connor could barely see it. “Dunno.”

Kevin climbed into bed again, Connor instinctively moving to get on top of him. Kevin smiled sadly as he looked down at Connor. “I worry about you sometimes, Kev,” Connor mumbled, snuggling his head into the crook of Kevin’s neck. “Well,” Kevin started, patting Connor on the back a couple times. “You have nothing to worry about, sweetheart. I’m fine.”

Connor didn’t reply. He must’ve fallen asleep already. Kevin leaned down to leave a kiss in the smaller male’s head, choosing to fall asleep too.

Knowing the way he is, this’ll happen tomorrow night too.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you! for reading! i appreciate it! :-)  
> if you want more from me, i have a tumblr and an instagram that have the same username as this one  
> dont know the next time i’ll post, but if anyone wants more of this au let me know and i’ll try to post more  
> pip pip and cheerio, my good fellows!


End file.
